Today, we celebrated my grandma’s 89th birthday. A few days ago marked one year since my grandfather’s passing. What a year it has been! A year of changes, adjustments, conflict, preparation, and more. It has been a year that God’s grace has shown even brighter. It’s during these times that we know without it, we simply could not stand.
Summer 2008 is nearly a memory. I can’t believe Autumn leaves will be falling in no time. God has taught me so much this summer. He has taught most of it in silence. Yes, He is present even in the SILENCE. Even when we do not hear a rushing wind, or feel the brush of angels wings…when we stop and look desperately around us for some sign of life and everything is still and quiet, He is working. We may not even hear His whisper that says, “I am here”, but rest assured His Word does not lie! He is with us forever, even unto the end of the age! (Matthew 28:20)
I have spent a great deal of this summer in the presence of the Lord, at His feet-annointing them with my tears, worshipping at His footstool, crying out for a heart that is clean and acceptable in His sight, seeking His perfect will. Every time I come to His throne, I am in awe that He would even allow me there, being so unworthy and filthy. That is when He gently reminds me that it is HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS that makes it possible- never my own! What confidence in knowing that! For if anything at all depended on human righteousness (Isaiah 64:6), it would be a hopeless case! He has taught me that it is HIS goodness and unconditional love that draws me (Romans 2:4). He has taught me that as I “watch for the morning”, even moreso, He is waiting for me to come before Him and share my heart without being afraid. He is causing the concept of “As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so your God rejoices over you.(Isaiah 62:5)” to sink deeper into my soul, and as it does, I become overwhelmed by His love all over again…for the first time. Yes, I am falling passionately in love with my Bridegroom all over again, on a deeper level. The changeless “Ancient of Days” has made Himself fresh and new to my heart once more! Oh, thank You precious Lord for drawing us to You!

He doesn’t overwhelm us with His love only for us to sit and enjoy it, although that is definitely part of it. But, how can we experience so great and pure a love and NOT share it with those we meet and pass in everyday life? It wasn’t meant to be kept a secret. It was meant to share(John 13:35)! Today, as you reflect on God’s amazing, inconceivable love, and as it draws you to Him and causes you to desire a pure heart and obedience before Him, ask Him to let it spill over on all you meet. For, truly the love of Jesus is contagious! Ask Him to allow the Living Water that is flowing freely inside you to overflow and get someone “wet”. For whoever drinks of this water, will NEVER thirst again! And, if for some reason, it is not freely flowing within you, ask your Father to unstop any “blockages” or purge any “rusty pipes”. He will be so happy you came to Him and He will delight in purifying your heart.   
One thing I have observed in my own heart is that this has been a year that I have sought the Lord with all my heart, perhaps harder than I ever have, but not for what He could give to me. Instead, I’ve sought Him all by Himself- to know Him better, to please Him, to give Him every piece of my heart, to have an even deeper relationship with Him. As I was reflecting on these thoughts one night as I lay in bed, the Lord spoke back to my heart saying, “It was I who gave you those desires… the desires to know and love Me more.” Then, more confirmation came with a Scripture I had hidden in my heart; “You will seek me and you will find me when you search for me with all of your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13)
All of this is to say, it is God Himself who places the desire for righteousness within us. He desires for us to desire Him, and to be willing to seek Him, to chase after Him, to relentlessly search for Him. He promises that when we do, we WILL find Him!
                                                                                          

Phew! What a week! It’s only Tuesday , but it has been quite “wild and hairy” to say the least. As the beautiful tomatoes God has filled our garden with ripen and are ready to be picked and used, along with more beans, squash, and wonderful hot banana peppers, it seems everything else has “come up” as well. On Saturday, I took my mother to the E.R. She was growing weaker with each passing day when finally we decided to have her checked out. After waiting nearly 2 hours just to see a doctor, we then went through the series of routine tests, X-rays, and labs to see what the problem could be. It was a total of 6 hours before she was discharged. All except one test came back fine and they felt it was probably just exhaustion from stress. We were so relieved and thankful to hear it was nothing serious. As we breathed a sigh of relief, thanking God for His mercy, the doctor came back to us just as we were getting ready to leave. He told us that her chest X-ray showed a suspicious bit of tissue behind her heart. I asked to see it. It was clear that something was there. My relief turned to concern. I’m so terrible at trusting sometimes! I can trust God to drop a husband out of the sky if He so chooses but I can get all bent out of shape when I hear about “suspicious tissue” showing up in an X-ray. We learned yesterday that the “tissue” is a large hiatal hernia. We won’t know until her next appointment whether or not it is the type that requires surgery. It could have been much worse and I am praising the Lord, again, for His mercy which seems to just be everywhere!
While all of the above was going on, my cat that I’ve had for 13 years fell very ill. We thought she may be dying and wanted to “reguard the life of our beast” the best we could.  She is still at the vet, but is improving. Praise the Lord again! My dad has had several “episodes” of violent confusion on top of the other things, and there are moments that I feel it would be tempting to pull out my hair. I say all this to say, I’m human. I’m real, and though I strive for perfection and holiness in Christ, I’m far from it. I am weak. Sometimes, very weak. The good news is that my God is strong, very strong, and when my strength ends, fizzles out, utterly kicks the bucket and I don’t have enough residual energy to even crawl…HIS POWER IS MADE PERFECT! His GRACE is SUFFICIENT( 2 Corinthians 12:9)! Wow. What a powerful truth. When we’re walking around on empty, having nothing but His Word hidden in our hearts, and His Holy Spirit living within us and guiding us (what more do we need anyway? ), that is when HIS POWER is made PERFECT in US. Amazing!
I love it when the Lord throws us out sweet mercies that we do not deserve just to remind us that we’re His daugthers, His Bride, and He is moved with compassion toward us. He gave me one last night, and again today. How sweet He is! Sweeter than honey!
Last night, I headed towards the highest point of our mountainous backyard w/o actually going into the woods. As I approached one of the apple trees, a young deer ran off into the distance. I settled on a hilly spot, and I just happened to be barefoot. The air felt cool against my face. Though my plan had been to watch for shooting stars (since the biggest meteor shower of the year was scheduled for last night and tonight), God gave me much more. I suddenly remembered that the atmosphere- the cool air, my bare feet, the hilly spot, the cadydids singing… was almost exactly like it was the night He first dreamed His dream of an encouraging newsletter for young single women into my heart. How sweet of Him to remind me, and to confirm to me that He has put His dreams in my heart, and surely He will be faithful to perfect this work He has started (Philippians 1:6)!
Though, I miss my dad desperately- the man he was before destroyed by Alzheimer’s, and though I feel helpless most of the time to make him understand the hope that is in Christ Jesus…Though I cannot control one thing that happens in this life, there is a God-THE only GOD, who is in utter, complete control. He is never panicked, never worried. He. Is. In. Control. Period. What a comfort to revel in that truth!! What revival my soul found to just stare up into the sky, realizing how small I was compared to all His hands have made, and to bask in the truth that He loves me even more than His royal lilies and delicate sparrows, which He takes such tender care of. If you need a “pick me up”, go sit under the stars and remember Who hung them. It won’t be long until, like me, you’ll be singing to the Lord, careless of who may hear you. By the way, I didn’t see any “shooting stars”, but I did see normal looking stars twinkling extra bright, which was a lovely sight.
The other sweet thing God blessed us with occured today. My dear mother has been having mammograms every 6 mos. for the past year or so because last year, on the 5th anniversary of my Grandmother’s diagnosis of breast cancer, my mom received an abnormal mammogram report. This led to several other tests that finally concluded there was a “thickening in the density” that was to be “watched periodically”. Today, when she went back for her routine mammogram, though the full report was not available yet, they told her it looked better than last time! And, last time, there were no changes from the time before. It’s one of those things that you know couldn’t be anything other than GOD. How grateful we are to Jesus!
On Monday, I will begin working with the precious little lambs (children) God has placed in my path again. I pray that in doing so, my faith will become more like theirs. Tonight, I’m off to watch for more shooting stars, as the heavens declare the glory of the Lord!
In closing, I’d like to say that throughout this wild week of testings, I’ve been reminded of how small I am and how great God is, and am awestruck once again that He would love me, desire me, and rejoice over me with singing! As I reflected on one my favorite Scriptures, the Lord brought to my attention, another powerful part of it that I had usually overlooked:

Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; He will save, He will rejoice over thee with joy; He will rest in his love, He will joy over thee with singing.

I always adored the part about Him being mighty to save, rejoicing over me with joy and singing, but as I’ve endured these little tests, the part I needed to hear the most was The Lord thy God, IN THE MIDST OF THEE…
He is in the midst of me! He’s right here among all the chaos, breathing His perfect peace. He is WITH me! I know this truth so well, but what a beautiful reminder.
Dear sister, as you face various trials and tests, please know that the LORD your GOD is WITH you! He is in the MIDST OF YOU! He is not far off. He is always at work for your good. And if you feel alone on your journey, you must remind yourself again that He is WITH YOU, IN YOUR MIDST. Always.

P.S. I hope you are enjoying the special anniversary issue of WFTM! I’d love to hear your feedback and thoughts on the new look and extra content. I’m always open to suggestions.