Tuesday evening, in the few moments between daylight and dark, I found myself walking on an old country gravel road. I had just finished farm chores for some friends while they were out of town. After feeding and watering the animals, I decided to take a little walk. It was the same little path that we captured the cover photo for the anniversary edition of “Watching for the Morning”, but a completely different setting. That day, it was in the middle of summer and with sleepy eyes, we were watching for the sun to rise and snapping pictures left and right. This evening, the sun had long gone down and there was very little light left. It was just Jesus and I, and the jersey cow and her calf who came to meet me at the fence. As I walked, I breathed in the crisp Autumn air and savored the gorgeous colors that God painted the leaves with. I was reflecting on the “songs” He had been singing over me lately. I remembered the Scripture in Isaiah 54 that tells me He is my Husband. It was one of those refreshing moments when His Word, though I’d read it many times, became brand new, and my heart rejoiced in the Lord my God, my “Jehovah-ishi” (God, my Husband). I thanked Him aloud for being ALL He is to me. Just as I approached the end of the trail, I noticed a huge, golden, full moon beaming through the cracks of the barn. It was the biggest, fullest moon I believe I have ever seen! And my precious Lord hung it with His own mighty hands! Tears came effortlessly as I whispered, “Thank You…” again to the Lover of my Soul. He gives us everything we need, but did He really have to give me the sight of that gorgeous moon? No. He is God of the universe and is not obligated to give us anything at all, yet He lavishes good gifts upon us every single day. Somehow, in the moment that I beheld that breath-taking moon and thanked my God for His goodness just after my soul had danced at reflecting on His beautiful Word and promises to me, a great peace overcame me, and I realized, as if a light bulb went off inside my head that I was completely . . . content. In that moment, I was totally confident that God was more than enough, that He had a plan, that His plan was perfect, and He is in control.  What a sweet place to be. Isn’t it funny how the things we already know “come alive” to us in moments of beholding God’s glory? The contentment did not come overnight. It was a process to say the least. Oh, how gentle He deals with us. He didn’t grant me contentment because I was righteous or holy (Our own righteousness is as filthy rags) or because I kept the law to a “t” (Philippians 3:9). He granted it to me because I came to Him in a worm-like way and asked Him for it. I was willing, though at times hesitantly so, for Him to stretch me, rebuke me, and chastise me in order to accomplish His purpose in me. It’s hard to believe that I have gradually reached this place after years of “wrestling” and hoping for things in my time frame. When did it come? I can’t be sure. I remember feeling content a few years ago, and yet struggling from time to time with moments of discontentment here and there. I really can’t say when He granted it to me precisely. Contentment is only another small thing He desires for me to have compared to the many I am yet striving for through Him, but have not attained. How thankful I am for a God who does not give up on me as I am yet striving- who does not become fed up with me as I climb the mountain of His will, at times wearily. He is so faithful. So eternally faithfully. When I meet another sister who may be struggling with totally trusting the Lord, may I never, ever condemn her, pretending that I trust Him 100% every moment of every day, in absolutely every area of life. For if I had attained 100% trust in all things at all times without ever having to deal with my flesh, A.) I would probably be in Heaven, and B.) It would be very easy to boast. (and may I never, ever boast in anything except the cross of my Lord). Instead, may I assure her that none of us have yet attained perfection(Philippians 3:12), yet we should always be striving for it. God forbid that she would have to look far and long past my criticisms and disgusting self-righteousness to find Christ’s love “hiding” in me! For if we have not love-or if it’s hiding so well no one can see it, we are nothing (1 Corinthians 13). We can do so much. We can work so hard. We can follow so many rules and be passionate about so many God-given convictions, yet if love is absent, it is all in vain and we are doing it for nothing.

I’m not exactly sure what contentment has to do with a great, big, beautiful moon, but they were both part of a worship experience for me on the farm. Truly, we can worship, pray, and commune with the Lord anywhere. There is no inappropriate place. He is always listening and always has something to whisper to the seeking heart.

Blessings to all you dear sisters who are striving, perhaps sometimes stumbling, but getting back up, placing all your hope and trust in Christ to carry out His perfect plan for you in His perfect way and time … without your “help”. :-)  May He increase your “Abraham faith”. May He place a breath-taking moon in your sky and arrange a beautiful contentment in your heart that only He can give .