August/September 2007

Dear Precious Sister in Waiting,

I hope this little “newsletter” finds you doing well and serving your family with the love of Christ.

Psalms 130:5 and 6 says, I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in His word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning. I first came to love this Scripture because I once felt like a night watchman, looking desperately for the first hint of day break. The only difference is I was a “watch maiden”, and I wasn’t watching or waiting for the morning. I was watching and waiting for a husband! I had already given up the idea of finding a suitable one on my own, so I had left that in God’s hands, and although I was not dating, I still sat anxiously on the edge of my seat, waiting for the Lord to drop him on my door step at any moment. There is nothing wrong with that dream, but in my situation I became so busy waiting for a husband, that I had unintentionally placed my Lord, my Master, my Bridegroom, Jesus- on the back burner, and I was grieving His heart by making an idol out of a faceless man that I’d been dreaming about for years. You see, even good, wholesome things can become bad when we place them before our relationship with Christ. So, in time, the Lord was gracious enough to give me new eyes and change my heart, and I was able to see the Scripture in a whole new, much deeper way. Was I really waiting on the Lord? Or was I only waiting on something He could give to me? Was I watching for Him in all things, or was I too busy dreaming away the present? Oh dear sisters, He is everywhere! It is not hard to see Him if we only open our spiritual eyes. He is in the grocery store. He is next door. He is in our very home . . . waiting to be served, to be loved, to be witnessed to, to be encouraged, to be comforted. All we have to do is wait and watch, and we are sure to find Him in a lonely soul, an abandoned elderly person, a little child, or a lost neighbor. The list goes on and on. Are you waiting for the Lord as the watchman waits for the morning? Are you that passionate about a chance to take His love to a world who is desperate for it? It may be no more than baking muffins for the neighbors. Or it may be a lifetime of ministering to people in a foreign land, which may mean giving up your dreams while doing so. Are you ready for that? I haven’t always been, but I have found that if you sincerely ask Him, He will change your heart. Of course, we should ultimately be on watch for His coming, always being prepared just as the wise virgins were in the parable Jesus told (Matthew 25).

I know that it may be difficult for many of you to endure this season in your life, and if it is not, then it either has been at one point or will be as you continue to wait on the Lord. His grace is sufficient, however. He will sustain you. The desire to be a wife and mother is a God-given desire, but our flesh is only comfortable when we get what we want, when we want it.

God gives us a serious word picture in Matthew 7:6. His Word is so multifaceted that we can apply this wonderful Scripture to many things, but I think it is so very appropriate when pondering the tragedy of the lovely daughters of God who get tired of waiting on His time and His way and cast their innocence and purity before less than God’s best.

Jesus said, “Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet and turn again and rend you.” Wow! You know where I’m going with this, don’t you? Sadly, I have seen so many precious young ladies who had a heart after God become too impatient. They begin to believe the negative words they are hearing from the world, their friends and family, and even the Church. They begin to feel foolish and irresponsible by just “sitting around” and letting God be in charge of their future. So, though it goes against everything they know in their heart to be true, they do it. They give what is holy (their first kiss, the innocence of never having been on a date, their physical purity, their emotional purity, along with their trust in God) to “dogs!” They take the amazing value God has placed on them and throw it before SWINE! And with it goes their confidence of who they are in Christ and a future of being in God’s perfect will. I have also witnessed the devastating truth of how it does turn on them and attack them. In simpler words, it “backfires.” In one moment, it can all be thrown away. It may only begin with a flirtatious smile or look- something you may feel is harmless. I cannot plead with you enough, dear young ladies; GUARD YOUR HEARTS! Do not wait until your emotions are too involved to try and get out of a situation. It will then be too late. Your emotions will deceive you. You must have a plan before temptation arises. You must know ahead of time how you will answer and how you will react if a boy or man flirts with you or asks you out on a date. I would encourage all of you to seek God’s face and ask Him to show you His standards concerning a potential mate. Write them down so you will not soon forget them and give a copy to your parents and/or an accountability couple. Once you prayerfully write them down, never change them except to raise them even higher, more “radical.” You might say, “But there are no men out there that are that wonderful.” I would answer you, leave that concern in God’s hands and know that nothing is impossible with Him! Are you willing to trust Him in the way that an old, childless Abraham, husband of an old barren Sarah, trusted Him when He promised him a son? It was totally illogical by all that Abraham could see in the natural. But he dared to trust his God. If you trust Him, you fear Him. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. In it there is strong confidence (Proverbs 1:17, Proverbs 14:26).

If you happen to be a precious lady who, in the past, has “thrown your pearls before swine,” please know that in Christ there is forgiveness and no condemnation. All you have to do is repent. Today is a new beginning, and you don’t have to carry the guilt around anymore.

God is always at work, even when you cannot see Him. The Scripture tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that God knows the plans He has for us – plans for peace, not of evil, to give us an expected end. I believe His plans for most, if not all of you, involve an earthly husband if He tarries. However, we cannot ask Him for His perfect will unless you are willing to accept His perfect time as well. The two go together. He so honors your commitment to “wait and not date,” to be “shamefaced” and modest, not given to flirting or teasing boys or men who are the future husbands of other women. I know that you may sometimes feel like a hopeless case, especially if you are older, and your emotions may get the best of you. Please know that His grace is sufficient for you and that His power is made perfect in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Did you know that even in your singleness, you can be a Titus 2 woman?! Your very life is the most powerful testimony you could ever give! People are watching you whether you realize it or not. Without saying one word, you are “teaching the younger girls and women to love their [future] husbands” by living the example of not dating men you don’t intend to marry and relying fully on God to bring about His will in your life in His perfect way and time. Has this amazing thought ever occurred to you?! You are so rare but desperately needed in your generation. You are a precious gem. It is no news to most of you that the world and much of the church does not understand or accept your decision to give God control of your singleness. Just remember that no servant is greater than [her] Master. If you belonged to the world, they would love you and understand you, but they do not because you do not belong to them (John 15:19). You have a higher calling. You have been set apart! To obey is better than sacrifice (1 Samuel 15:22)! Continue running the race, with your head held high and your heart bowed down – and your eyes on your eternal Bridegroom who will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

You will find that it will be worth it after all.

Delighting in His will,

Candace