Watching for the Morning Candace D

WFTM #6 (Fall/Winter 09)

April 26th, 2009

Dear precious sisters, soaring on eagles’ wings,

Greetings to you in the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ! I trust He is renewing your strength as you continue to patiently and contentedly wait upon Him.
Tonight, I sit at my little cozy, Scripture- covered computer desk in my long flannel “granny night gown” with fuzzy slippers, hair falling out of my clip and into my face, awaiting the snow. Yes, they are calling for snow tonight, and that always makes me excited! Though we are blessed with a wonderful heating system, I am still somehow “freezing” and am loving the thoughts of a nice cup of hot tea or spiced cider. It is with much delight and gratitude that I present to you by God’s amazing grace another issue of Watching for the Morning. As I have prayed and sought the Lord, asking Him what He would like me to share with you in this issue, I felt as though He was leading me to candidly and honestly share some things He has been teaching me lately through circumstances in my own life. You will probably find that there are some repetitive patterns, and that all of the different subjects tend to lead back to the same point. It’s interesting how the following smorgasbord of thoughts and “heart ramblings,” as I call them, were written at different times and weren’t really meant to be associated closely with the others, but they somehow all convey the same message: Trust. Dependability. God is in control. He wants our whole heart, and He must be first. Isn’t it neat how He put it all together? To God be the glory!
I pray that you can glean something encouraging and are built up in your faith.

In Uncertainty . . .

My dad seems to have seasons of growing worse in his illness. Then, it seems he will bounce back…for awhile, only to worsen again. Today, he had a doctor’s appointment and his blood pressure was too low. In-home care will be coming to monitor it every few days and try some physical therapy if he is willing. We have no idea what is going on inside his body, as he has never desired to have further testing and is now barely able to walk, let alone endure the trauma that some of the tests require. Most mornings when I wake up, I truly do not know if I will find him still breathing. Every day is one huge question mark. We have no idea how long he has to live but are praying that no matter how long or short it may be, that God will draw him to Himself, soften his heart of stone and bring him to repentance as soon as possible. I would like to ask all the precious sisters who subscribe to Watching for the Morning to please pray for him, and the whole family as well. My mother has been diagnosed with diabetes, and we are working to get things adjusted and regulated. In the middle of all of this- trying to love them and serve them in a Christ-like way, not knowing what kind of turns their health may take tomorrow, and not having any biological siblings for support, I have grown somewhat exhausted in more ways than one. I can’t imagine what the future holds but am so thankful to know the One who holds it; and as for Him, His ways are perfect, and out of His amazing grace, He works all things together for the good of those who love Him (Psalms 18:30, Romans 8:28). He daily refreshes me with His written Word and the voice of the Holy Spirit within me, spurring me on up this great, big hill. Though I grow weary, He faints not. What a blessing to know that He is with me (Zephaniah 3:17)! I would like to encourage all of you dear young ladies who may be enduring a tiring, exhausting, or uncertain time, to hold tighter still to your Master’s hand. He is holding your world together just as He always has been. Nothing about Him has changed (Hebrews 13:8). He is the same Son of God who appeared in the fiery furnace with Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego, and the same Savior who beckoned a fear-stricken Peter to walk on the water with Him. God is in complete control, and all is going as planned according to His perfect will. Remember, that though everything may be spinning or changing around you, and nothing may make any sense, that your God is firmly established upon His mighty Throne and is committed to steadfastly accomplishing what is in your best interest and what will bring Him the most glory. Relax. He’’s got the map! Following Him, it’s impossible to get lost.

In Desolation . . .

I’m not sure if I would have even thought to use the word “desolation,” except the Lord has been singing so many beautiful Scriptures over me that include it, the value of it, and the promised restoration that follows. Sometimes, with the sickness and every day stressors I see in my parents, I also see a lack of hope and a lack of life in our home, a weighing down that tends to steal joy, if allowed to. Seeing this hurts me deeply, as I long for them to rest in Jesus and not be so given to the temptation of despairing. Seeing it also makes me feel like the “black sheep” because I so desire to have the joy of the Lord even in dark circumstances, and it can be very difficult being the only joyful one. There is certainly desolation in our home right now. Dry deserts that need pools of Living Water. Ruins that need Godly restoration. People who need to know that Christ has come to set them free. There is hope deferred, things that need to be laid at Jesus’ feet. In the middle of this desolate time and place, I choose joy and I choose worship. I choose to be His handmaiden at all times, not only when I may “feel” like it. The Lord has sung to me the most beautiful of songs lately. I’d love to share it with you;
Isaiah 54:
Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD. Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes… (1,2) Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more. For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called. For the LORD hath called thee as a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit, and a wife of youth, when thou wast refused, saith thy God. For a small moment have I forsaken thee; but with great mercies will I gather thee. In a little wrath I hid my face from thee for a moment; but with everlasting kindness will I have mercy on thee, saith the LORD thy Redeemer (4-8). O thou afflicted, tossed with tempest, and not comforted, behold, I will lay thy stones with fair colors, and lay thy foundations with sapphires. And I will make thy windows of agates, and thy gates of carbuncles, and all thy borders of pleasant stones. And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children (11-13). No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD (17). Wow! How absolutely timely, precious and refreshing to the weary soul!
I must add this: If we do not appreciate Christ in His fullness as our Husband, the Lover of our soul, and our utter Satisfier, then we will never, ever be truly joyful or fulfilled. Even a “dream come true” earthly marriage and a houseful of merry children will never satisfy us if we do not grow both content and overwhelmingly “lovesick” in Christ alone.
I also found a lovely quote by C.H. Spurgeon based on this very Scripture [emphasis below is mine]:
“Prayer is lifeless, love is cold, faith is weak, each grace in the garden of our heart languishes and droops. We are like flowers in the hot sun, requiring the refreshing shower. In such a condition what are we to do? The text is addressed to us in just such a state. “Sing, O barren, break forth and cry aloud.” But what can I sing about? I cannot talk about the present, and even the past looks full of barrenness. Ah! I can sing of Jesus Christ. I can talk of visits which the Redeemer has aforetimes paid to me; or if not of these, I can magnify the great love wherewith he loved his people when he came from the heights of heaven for their redemption. I will go to the cross again. Come, my soul, heavy laden thou wast once, and thou didst lose thy burden there. Go to Calvary again. Perhaps that very cross which gave thee life may give thee fruitfulness. What is my barrenness? It is the platform for his fruit-creating power. What is my desolation? It is the black setting for the sapphire of his everlasting love. I will go in poverty, I will go in helplessness, I will go in all my shame and backsliding, I will tell him that I am still his child, and in confidence in His faithful heart, even I, the barren one, will sing and cry aloud.
I pray you are encouraged and blessed by this amazing word, whether you are in a desolate season or a rich one.
 
In Longing & Loving . . .

Just because I’m 28 and content in the Lord Jesus as my Bridegroom…just because I strive to watch for His coming and work in the harvest in the mean time more than expecting an earthly mate, does not mean that I have stopped desiring one altogether. I have to say that as my desire for the Lord has increased, and He has granted me contentment, the urgent desire for a mate has decreased. But on a real, human level, I want to say to all you precious sisters that I do very much desire an earthly husband and children still. I pray for him daily (as well as my children that are yet to be conceived), write notes to him, and have a folder where I keep all of his cards I’ve written in for years. Sometimes, I wonder about silly little things like what color his eyes will be, what his voice will sound like, and where in the world God will bring him from ;) . It is natural and good to long for godly things. It is the biblical lady who longs for a godly husband to provide for and protect her and father her children. Please don’t let anyone tell you it is not. Don’t believe them when they say you will never find a husband as long as you do not “pursue” one and allow God to organize the union. Please know He understands your longings, and He is forever faithful. He has a plan. It has not changed. Remember that before we could ever possibly enjoy an earthly mate, we must first love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, and strength. That is the key. I cannot stress or shout from the rooftops loudly enough just how true this is! Ask any Christian wife and she’’ll agree with you. Dear young ladies, so eager to do the Father’’s will, we must keep our hearts in check. If the Lord Jesus does not satisfy us now, then how could we ever dream that a fallen, human man could satisfy us later? It is impossible! I challenge you to ask yourself the question, “Do I love the Lord with all my heart, all my mind, and all my strength?” and to heartily ponder it, then answer yourself honestly. Some time ago, I found myself having to painfully confess to the Lord that I did not love Him as I should, with my whole heart. It truly broke my heart. If you cannot honestly say that you love HIM more than all and with all of you, please confess it before Him today. He is not waiting to condemn you or punish you. He is waiting for you to repent, and we are drawn to that state of broken repentance by His goodness (Romans 2:4). Repentance is a beautiful thing to God, and it is from the ashes of repentance that beauty comes forth. We are all on a journey to love Him more, to give Him more of us, and to receive Him in His fullness. Sometimes the cost just feels too great, but we must choose. Who will you serve? If we come before Him, asking Him to purify us, you’’d better believe He is faithful in doing so (1 John 1:9). Just you ask Him. Ask Him to make the deepest longing in your heart to be for Him alone. I “dare” you. ;)

In Dependence . . .

It goes against our flesh to feel comfortable in totally depending on someone or something, though it is probably much easier for a lady than a man. We want to be in control of the situation. We want to be “self-sufficient.” We may feel “weak” if we ask for help or if we find ourselves depending on someone. Did you know that God created you to depend on Him? In times of turbulence, we are somewhat forced to depend on something other than ourselves, being so sinful and fallen and unstable in nature. I choose to fully depend on Jesus. Let me tell you about a “conversation” I had with the Lord recently…

One evening in early November as I was taking a brisk walk near the entry to the mountains behind our home, leaves rustling beneath my feet, a sliver of the moon shining already in the dark peachy colored sky, I found great delight in talking to the Father. I was letting Him know how very worthless I am without Him- how I am absolutely nothing except for Him (as if He didn’t know!). I thanked Him for allowing me to see and understand that, because upon doing so, I am better able to trust Him, depend on Him, and seek Him constantly and utterly. I am better able to catch a glimpse of the “big picture,” knowing He is in complete control, knowing He is after every piece of my heart, and because I have yielded it to Him in the best of my feeble human ability, He will not relent until He has it all, no matter the cost. I find great peace and relief in knowing that not one thing in my life is happening that is putting Him in a panic, or making Him uneasy or causing Him to pace back and forth across the streets of gold, glancing at His wrist watch every few seconds. Really, can you imagine GOD frantically looking at His watch (as if He even has one!) every little bit in fear that something’s gone wrong in your life? The Creator of time itself and the very Author of your faith, concerned that things aren’t unfolding as planned? I sure can’t imagine it, because I know it’s only the opposite of how He really sees the seasons in our lives, and though I cannot imagine it, I sometimes think or act like that is exactly what He is doing! Yes, I’m just as human as the rest of you dear sisters, and some days when I weigh the trials and cares of my life, I often get a bit bent out of shape. My mind is like a run away train, a big, jumbled, tangled pile of “what ifs.” What if my dad continues to grow worse and we are no longer able to care for him at home? What if his mind deteriorates too quickly as the Alzheimer’s progresses, and he is too far gone before he can make things right with God? What if my mother gets sick as well, under all the stress? How will I take care of both of them by myself? What if my precious husband is not scheduled to arrive until I am 40 or older? What if? What if? What if?! Wow, too many of those, and it’s easy to work yourself into a panic, and in the panic, it’s easy to forget Who is in control, Who is working all things together for those who love Him, Who has plans to prosper and not to harm us (Jeremiah 29:11), Who knows exactly what He’s doing, Who is an expert on giving beauty for ashes and testimonies for trials (Isaiah 61:3), Who has promised us that those who wait and hope in Him will not be put to shame (Isaiah 49:23b). Wow…how easily we forget. Father, forgive us! In these times, we must go back to where our faith was born – to the terrible, wonderful, victorious CROSS -where our salvation was purchased, where we, former slaves to sin and the devil, were bought by the blood of the Lamb. At the cross, grace flows like gushing geysers. At the cross, perfect love drips upon us like an April downpour, casting out fear (1John 4:18). At the cross, we remember how “wormy” we are, and the gift He gave, and how coming away, washed in Christ’s redemptive blood, we are no longer just a worm, but “royal worms,” if you will! (Can’t you just see it? A little smiling, glowing worm, wearing a beautiful sparkling crown?) That is you and me! We are glorious, victorious, redeemed, co-heirs with Christ! We are “living stones” and a “royal priesthood” (Romans 8:17, 1 Peter 2:5)! He takes our worminess and gives us the name, “Righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21) which we could never earn or merit. At the cross, we remember why we are striving in the first place and what we are striving for. No more are we trying to earn or work our way to God’s favor, fearfully hoping He will allow us into His Kingdom on that fateful day. No, because as He teaches us what His grace is all about, we are learning to love with our whole heart the One who first loved us (1 John 4:19)! And in that love, there is assurance, never panic or fear. Hallelujah!
As I was wrapping up my little Saturday evening stroll, I found myself saying out loud to the Lord, “I guess I’m a bit of a…a, well… ‘‘parasite’’ to You, Lord…and oh, I suppose that’s just horrible…” I could feel Him instantly smiling warmly at me, eyes twinkling, almost chuckling, somewhat as a good daddy would laugh at his little daughter who is striving to give him all of her wretched little heart. Then, as I pondered my words for a few moments, I responded to my own statement with, “But, Lord, I guess it’s a good thing to be a ‘‘parasite’’ to You!” I can’t even imagine the precious expression on His loving face in response to me- His beloved “royal worm princess,” who is nothing at all without her King. (I want to be so “stuck” to Jesus, holding so tightly to my Lord that nothing could pull me away from Him, for without being completely bound to Him, drawing life and strength and joy and peace from Him daily, I could not survive, nor thrive. He is my source for everything. I need Him. I cannot accomplish anything without His strength. His Word is life to my flesh and to every fiber of my spiritual man (Proverbs 4:22). When we face difficult circumstances or have scary looking mountains to climb, He calls us to utter abandonment and total dependability on the God who has inscribed us on the palms of His hands and collects our tears in His bottle (Isaiah 49:16, Psalm 56:8). We are so weak, but He is so strong. Let’s make it our desire to totally lose ourselves in Jesus. We will find that we become a part of Him, and He becomes a part of us, and everyone we encounter gets to see His beautiful light beaming out of us! And we get to tell them of a God and Savior who desires us to willingly be His piece of clay- molded, stretched and sculptured into the dream He dreamed for us before we were even born! Doesn’t that make you excited? Oh, I pray it does.
I came away from my walk with the assurance that being a “leech” in this situation is definitely a good thing! Won’t you attach yourself to Jesus in such a way that if your entire world fell apart tomorrow, you would not be shaken ? Won’t you find yourself so consumed by Him that if all your plans failed and dwindled away as mist, you have such an intimate relationship with your Savior that it would barely phase you because Jesus- the source of all your desires and needs will never be taken away. Won’t you trust that He works all things for your good? That His plans are higher and far greater than yours could ever be? Won’t you join me in asking the Lord to teach us what it really means to fully rely on Him for all things? You may say, “It sounds easy, but how do you come to this place, to such a relationship with the Lord?” Dear sister, we are not able to do anything in our own strength, but if we ask Him, He will deepen our hunger, and He will fill our desire for righteousness (Matthew 5:6). It pleases His heart to see us surrender our ideas and receive His, whatever they may be. This is a sign of growth, and we always want to be growing in Jesus! Have the circumstances in your life caused you to ask a lot of “What ifs” lately? Have the “what ifs” caused a sense of fear or panic? Do you worry that you may never see anything except fields of desolation and ruins that “could’ve been” beautiful, living villages “if only” God would move? Do not despair, for the God you serve slumbers not, nor sleeps and is perfectly aware of your comings and goings. (Psalm 121:4). He has a plan. The treasure is in the journey.

In Persecution & Loneliness . . .

I have received several notes from precious sisters whose families and friends simply do not approve of their trust in God in all areas of life, namely trusting Him to hand pick and provide a mate in His perfect time. You are trying to hold on to the convictions God has placed within you, but you are growing weary because there is little support. You are struggling to honor your parents and still obey the Lord’’s mighty call. Oh, you dear precious ones, I would just love to give you a great big hug! I’’d love to just sit with you over tea and talk for hours, wiping away your tears and shedding a few of my own with you. I have to tell you that I know some of where you are coming from. I will tell you that you honor your parents by honoring and obeying God. I will also tell you that if you ask Him, He will place people in your life who are supportive, encouraging, and like-minded. He was faithful to do that for me. Please hold on. Do not grow weary in well doing (Galatians 6:9). Please do not despair when you see friends getting married, thinking you’ve heard the Lord wrong. The enemy of your soul desires to steal God’s vision from your heart. He dreads and fears a generation so uncompromisingly committed to God. Please continue to be that generation, no matter the cost! And for all you dear sisters who have been blessed with wonderfully supportive family and friends, do not forget to look around you for sisters who are tired and weary of explaining their God-given convictions to deafened ears. You may be the breath of fresh air they are so in need of. You may be the kindred sister they have been praying for. Let’s encourage each other on this journey!

“Dark, but Lovely”
More encouragement for those sisters walking alone in their convictions . . .

One crisp day in October, standing barefoot in our little kitchen, wearing my sun-flowered apron, while pureeing a just-baked pumpkin for the freezer, I was listening to a song that a friend had introduced to me called, “Dark, but Lovely.” It was so beautiful and touching that I had it playing on “repeat.” As I listened to the words over and over, my heart was captured all over again by God’s amazing love towards me that remains steadfast even in my weakness, and I couldn’t help but effortlessly weep over my bowl of pumpkin puree. (To think that the God of the universe who has so tenderly and thoughtfully placed each star in the sky, Whose ways are so much higher and greater than we could ever fathom, LOVES us with an unquenchable, passionate, jealous, everlasting, perfect love even when our love for Him and others is yet immature and imperfect! We’’ve read it all before. We know it well, but sometimes we need reminding. Wow! That He would desire us, rejoice over us, and sing over us when we are but weak vessels, trying to learn His heart and obey His Words (Zephaniah 3:17). As I continued listening to this song, and to the Lord’’s “song” over me as Scripture came to mind, I thought of the precious young ladies out there who have accepted God’s vision for young maidens, for waiting on Him, for not compromising or doing things as the world does, and yet … they feel utterly alone. It’s a different kind of “lonely” than the young ladies who are blessed with beautiful, large, protecting, supporting families may experience at times as they wait on the Lord for a husband. It is the type of loneliness that comes when you have not come from the ideal Christian home, when family and loved ones are shaking their heads in laughing disgust at you for “waiting on the Lord.” It’s feeling like you’re the only one on your side of the planet that has this conviction from the heart of God, and there is little to no one to support you. It’s reading some of the wonderful books that are available to young Christian ladies serving their families at home, and about half way through, feeling like an alien because you simply do not have a family as described in the book. Maybe you don’t have a father who will allow you to serve him or work for him, or siblings to watch and guide and help care for. Maybe your church is not supportive of your convictions, and as you watch all of your dear friends get married and bear children, you feel as though you’ve been somehow lost in the shuffle and wonder if your conviction is nothing more than a strange notion that you made up inside your head. Perhaps your family doesn’t even know the Lord, and dwelling with them, or just being a part of their company makes you feel out right “dark.” Dear beloved sisters! The Lord has laid it heavy on my heart to tell you that YOU ARE LOVELY to Him! Though you may sometimes feel the darkness around you is causing you to be tainted and blemished, please know that He truly has SET YOU APART! I can sympathize with those of you who are in this situation, as it was exactly how my journey began. Along the way, God has sprinkled my path with sweet families who share my convictions and other single sisters who have this same vision. Though I have no biological siblings, nieces, or nephews, He has dumped lap fulls of precious little lambs into my life to nourish and care for. But from the beginning, it has really been about God Himself walking with me on the narrow road of His perfect will. I want to deeply encourage you precious sisters who are “First Generation Waiters” to not grow weary in your obedience, and do not despair because there may be no footprints to walk in. Take a moment to ponder how exciting it is to be the “mother” of a God-dream, to be a trail blazer! No one can say that someone “put these crazy ideas into your head” or that you are only trying to imitate “so-and-so.” You may have come from a family who all dated a variety of people before marrying their spouse and think there is nothing wrong with it, but God has let you in on a greater vision, a dream of His heart, the way He designed it to be all along. You were sensitive enough to hear His voice, to respond, and to make a vow to your Betrothed to never compromise but to obey Him with all of your heart. You know it’s a God thing, because everyone else thinks you’re crazy! Let’s remember Esther. One courageous, risky act of going before the king at a forbidden time ultimately saved an entire generation and generations to come. She put her life on the line to make an appeal to save her people. How are you like Esther? By trusting God with every detail of your life, not just your future mate, you are taking a “risk” according to most of those around you. Most people, including many Christians, simply believe there are some things that you don’t need to leave up to God- you just do them yourselves and whatever will be, will be. After all, “God gave us a brain.” We must be “logical,” right? Psalms 37:23 says, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord…” Does this mean He orders all of our paths in life? Yes! Does is it mean we should pray and ask Him to lead and guide over every single detail of our lives? Absolutely! If we’re going to obey the Lord, why not go all the way? How are you fighting for “your people” by standing firm in the convictions God has planted inside you, even when it means standing alone? By standing firm in Biblical, God-given convictions, you are passing a priceless legacy of godliness to your children and your children’s children, even though they are yet hidden in the bosom of God. You are “saving” future generations from falling into the trap of dating other women’s husbands and vice versa, and giving pieces of themselves away with each new boy they flirt with and entice. God gave some of us the blessing of a wonderfully supportive family who passed on their God-given convictions to us, and in strength and wisdom we grew to see that they truly did originate from His perfect, loving heart. But to some of us, He gave the blessing of loneliness that we would be affirmed by Him who set us apart from darkness, and seek hard after Him and His heart until we found Him, and that at the end of the day, His vision would be so deeply planted within us that no one or nothing could dispute it. Take heart! There is no greater time than now to be an “Esther,” and set out on the path He has placed you, with His vision in your heart, knowing that if no one around you supports you or encourages you, He will always be more than enough.

In Obedience . . .

I often marvel at God’s grace and loving acceptance of my delayed obedience. Being the analytical person I am, I like to be CERTAIN God is calling me to do something. I tend to PONDER it for a length of time. I want to KNOW before I act. And there have been times that I have weighed the logics of what God could possibly have in mind before I do it. Not so with the servants at Jesus’ first wedding miracle.
Let’s take a look at what happened.

John 2:1-7: On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there; and both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.” And Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does that have to do with us? My hour has not yet come.” His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.” Now there were six stone waterpots set there for the Jewish custom of purification, containing twenty or thirty gallons each. Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” So they filled them up to the brim.
There was a problem at the wedding. They had run out of wine, and Jesus simply told the servants to fill the water pots with water. Can you imagine what they were thinking? Can you imagine how LONG it may have taken depending on how many servants there were? Could they have possibly dreamed what great work He was about to do? They needed wine, and Jesus told them to fill the pots with water. Do you think they understood that? Probably not. And they probably didn’t take time to try and make sense of it in their little, minute, human brains. They just did exactly what He told them. Simply and without over-analysis. Oh, what we can learn from these nameless wedding servants! As soon as He tells us, may we quickly just… OBEY, no questions asked, trusting that He has a greater plan. After the servants filled the water pots as Jesus commanded them and took some to the “governor of the feast” to taste, it was no longer water, but wine (v.8-10)! Jesus performed His first miracle, and the lowly servants got to be a part of it simply because they obeyed Him! Let’s not ever take the act of pure obedience lightly. Let’s remember that God uses it to strengthen our spiritual person, and it also paves the way for Him to do a mighty work. To obey is better than sacrifice (1 Samuel 15:22b)!

“Son of God, take us to the end of us, so Your time may come. Son of God, require ready obedience from us, that You may fill our everydays with miracles of goodness.
Son of God, sweeten the colorless common of our days, into the deep sweet rich of You.
Turn our water into wine, the stain You poured out for us.”
~Ann Voskamp

May He bless you abundantly as you continue to seek, obey, and serve Him with all of your heart!

Watching for the glorious return of my King,

Candace :)
 
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Modesty

mod-es-ty, noun
1. freedom from conceit or vanity.
2. propriety in dress, speech, and conduct.

This issue of WFTM has a lot of wonderful morsels of godly wisdom as well as some wonderful Scripture concerning modesty from other sisters in the Lord. Some are younger single ladies, and some are married mothers.
Modesty means so much more than the clothes we wear, dear young ladies! I have some dear friends who are always saying, “It’s all about the heart!” and they are very right. That statement can be weighed against every detail of our lives and our motives. In everything we do, let us do it heartily, bringing glory to God (Colossians 3:20, 1 Corinthians 10:31). For, if our hearts are truly pure, then our outward appearance will only reflect that purity.
So… sit back, relax, and enjoy these wonderful articles from readers around the country!

Modern Day Modesty
By: Kimberly Eddy

The topic of modesty is a funny thing. Sometimes when it comes up, we think only in terms of “how long does it need to be, and how much do I need to cover?”, but really, that is not where the Bible chooses to dwell when the Lord talks about modesty. Modesty is not a set of rules about what to wear and what not to wear (though the standards a family might have regarding clothing can be helpful guidelines when considering our clothing), but about our hearts first and foremost.
There is a familiar verse found in Proverbs which I think illustrates this point well. The verse simply states, “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.” (Proverbs 11:22). A pretty woman without any sense of discretion is like a jewel in a pig’s nose. Yuck! Specifically this lack of discretion means a lack of understanding, judgement, or reasoning. But, it can mean more than that. We can even be women wearing all of the right external clothing on our bodies but still be as appealing as a gold ring in a pig’s nose if our Christian modesty is not coming from the inside out.
This inner modesty starts with taking off the wrong sorts of spiritual clothing. Paul commands believers to put off the “old man” (Ephesians 4:22, Colossians 3:8-9), our pre-Christian selves, and the thoughts and actions which went with that old way of life. The first step in getting true modesty that works its way from the inside out is to put our trust fully in Christ alone for our salvation, and to put off our old way of living. Even if it was “moral”, no one can live up to the standard of holiness God has set forth except Jesus Christ, which is why He died for our sins, and why we need to trust in Him. Every sin, including immodesty, has it’s roots in our hearts, and that is why we need clean hearts before the Lord before we can ever truly please Him.
Paul doesn’t stop there. He commands believers to put on Christ (Galatians 3:27), and to put on the new man (Col. 3:10, Ephesians 4:24), and to begin to walk out our new lives in Christ. Our “new man”, the Bible says, is “created in righteousness and true holiness” (Ephesians 4:24), and is “renewed in knowledge after the image of Him [Jesus] that created him.” (Col. 3:10). When we are in Christ, we are brand new, and we need to live it. The Lord commands us, in Colossians 3:12-17,
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.”
What does any of that have to do with modesty? Everything! As we let His Word dwell in us, and as His peace rules in our hearts, and as we sing with grace in our hearts to the Lord, and as we do everything we do for God’s glory, we will have the security deep in our innermost beings which so totally satisfies us, we will not feel the need to flaunt our bodies or to get attention through what we are wearing. We will wear our modest attire with a right, modest spirit too. When we are in it to glorify God, we will not ask “How short is too short?”, and constantly stand with our toes at the proverbial borderline of propriety, but rather we will be glad to glorify God in what we are wearing, and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit in this area. Yielding to His Spirit in all areas of our lives and being tender to His leading is so very important in the area of modesty, and others.
There are many who may wear a dress that is plenty long enough, but her countenance, her spirit, and the way in which she wears it is completely immodest and does not reflect the glory of God. Psalms 45:13 says that “the kings daughter is all glorious within…”. As daughters of the King of Kings, our glory should shine from the inside out, radiating His glory to all who look at us. THAT is true beauty, and it comes from spending time basking in His glory (2 Corinthians 5:18)
Furthermore, we are in a spiritual battle, my dear sisters, and that is why Paul also instructs us to “put on the armor of light” (Romans 13:12) and to put on the “whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil” (Ephesians 6:11). We are to clothe ourselves, spiritually, with truth, righteousness, a willingness and preparedness to always tell others of Christ’s free gift of salvation, faith, salvation, the Word of God, and prayer. (Ephesians 6:11-18). These are the first clothing a Christian should put on each day, as we go off into the spiritual battles we all face.
With the understanding now that modesty is more than just “How long does my dress have to be?”, let’s examine the main verses found in the New Testament about modesty.
“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.” (1 Timothy 2:9-10).
What is “modest apparel”? The Greek word means, “Modest, decorous, or orderly” Someone who is dressed modestly is dressed with decorum, and dressed in an orderly way. She is dressed in a way that is appropriate for who she is and what she is doing at the time. Paul goes on to say that she should wear her modest apparel with “shamefacedness and sobriety”. Sobriety refers to self control or temperance. She is self controlled under the Holy Spirit’s control. But, what does “shamefacedness” mean? This isn’t a word we use much in 21st century America. This gives the idea of downcast eyes, or bashfulness with members of the opposite sex, and not a false bashfulness or coyness that is flirtatious. Shamefacedness is the polar opposite of the flirty, in your face spirit that many young ladies walk around with today. Instead of being flatterers towards men that are not relatives and not our husbands, we are to be shamefaced–bashful. This sort of shamefacedness, coupled with a godly countenance and a right spirit, does wonders for repelling the wrong sorts of men, and attracting the right ones. Paul continues, instructing women to focus less on the outside, and more on the inside and what we are doing for God. Taking care of your body is not wrong (in other parts of the Bible we are instructed to do just that), but having it be your main focus is.
Peter teaches something similar when he says, “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” (1 Peter 3:3-4). When we adorn ourselves with what the Lord is doing in our lives, we will always be beautiful. Meekness literally means, according to Vine’s Expository Dictionary, to be so trusting in God that we are leaving every aspect of our lives and our situations in His hands. The Greek word translated “Quiet” literally means “to keep one’s seat”, or in other words, to not let things upset you or get you in a tizzy. This is how we are to get dressed up.
Deuteronomy 22:5 is also often quoted, as it expresses God’s commandment against cross dressing and androgynous clothing styles. God wants women to look like women and men to look like men. The point is, no one should have to look too closely at certain body parts to see that you are a woman. This is reiterated in 1 Corinthians 11:1-16, where Paul is discussing the issue of distinction in the sexes, mostly in relation to hair length and head coverings. Basically, if, in our culture, something is uniquely male clothing, a woman should not wear it.
The Bible, particularly in the Old Testament, talks about being careful not to expose our “nakedness” to anyone other than our spouses.
On to some practical Titus 2 advice, now that we have laid a foundation. The most important principle for contemporary young ladies is to keep in mind that men are wired completely different than we are. It wasn’t until I was married for several years before I realized just how differently men and women think, especially on the topic of modesty. There were some things which I felt were very modest, and my husband explained to me how it looked from a man’s perspective. What an eye opener! God has given you a father, and possibly [brothers]. These men are a great source of help in knowing what is and is not modest on you.
Secondly, just because an outfit looked good on someone else, doesn’t mean it will look equally good on you. Modest clothing isn’t, “This is good, that is bad”. We all have unique bodies. David wrote, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). My body is shaped in such a way that I have to be careful about blouses with buttons in the front, and dresses are usually out of the question (my top half is larger than the bottom half of me!), so I wear dresses with blouses mostly, for the sake of modesty.
For you, it may be some other issue. For tall ladies, like my daughters and I, it is difficult sometimes to find skirts that are of adequate length, and for others it may be finding tops that are not too low. The point is, find clothing that looks nice on you and fits YOUR body modestly.
Thirdly, re-evaluate your wardrobe every so often. Our bodies change over time. This is more true of women who are having children, nursing children, and experiencing the ups and downs of pregnancies in their bodies, but can also be true of younger ladies who are going through the other changes associated with puberty. Things grow here, shrink there, and suddenly a dress that was very modest 6 months ago doesn’t look at all decent on you anymore. Use a full length mirror, and if possible, enlist the help of someone else, perhaps your mother, your father, or [siblings].
Finally, remember that modesty is wearing appropriate clothing for who you are and what you are doing. As a woman, I want to dress in a way that is feminine, and where no one has to look too closely to see that I am a woman. I also want to be modest, not causing anyone to stumble with what I am wearing. This is more clear cut when we are out in public, at church, grocery shopping, and so forth, but sometimes requires wisdom to know how to apply God’s principles when doing activities which can be immodest when done, for example, in a skirt (such as some yard work, auto repair, and harvesting fruit on a ladder).
Discuss this with your parents, as to what is and is not appropriate to wear when doing certain tasks, as every family has different standards.
Kimberly Eddy is the wife of Martin of 16 years, and the joyful momma to Ruth (15), Judah (13), Anastasia (11), Esther (10), and Isobel (9), living in rural Mid Michigan. Mrs. Eddy runs www.JoyfulMomma.org, providing resources to encourage mommas and their families.

Modest?
By: Ellen Wyman

When you hear the word “modest”, doesn’t your mind immediately go to dress? Mine does. The word modesty is so used, over-used, and re-invented in different circles, that when I hear it, I can picture in my mind anything from Amish cape dresses to the other extreme of outfits that many would cringe at – depending on who I am talking to and what they mean by using the word. People have, rightly and wrongly, grabbed at this word and attached it to their own individual invented dress codes, good and bad. People have used it to refer to one specific group. People have said it referring to simply being dressed decently as opposed to indecently. I recently wrote a different article on this same topic in which among other things, I expressed concern for a new generation who appears to have gone to a new level of apathy, completely throwing away any concern whatsoever to even understand or search out for themselves what modesty means according to God for their life. I also talked about modesty being a lifestyle and attitude. But the fact is, modesty encompasses a wide spectrum of topics and ideas I could talk about. Since this issue has been placed in my path yet again, what I would like to share with you in this article is a completely different issue of modesty, though it all fits together well as part of a complete picture God has in mind for us.
What is on my heart as I write today is the meekness of modesty, the idea of being a humble servant. I believe the Lord may want me to write about this because He keeps placing it in my lap over and over again – the messages in church, thoughts on it, and things people have said. We were recently at a fall harvest gathering some friends of ours had. I was part of a conversation with one of the Christian dads, the father of some friends of ours. He was talking about something another Christian had shared with him, and he said something really neat about the attitude of a servant – basically that anything we do for the Lord should be like washing feet. If you think about the whole concept of washing feet in Bible times, it would be a humbling experience! Many people wore sandals back then, and having someone wash the dust off my dirty feet would be embarrassing to me. Have you ever participated in a foot washing? Even the symbolic hand washings that are part of the Passover celebration can be awkward for us in our culture; as these just aren’’t things we are at all used to doing. For the most part, we have cultivated pride in our society, not humbleness. Boastfulness and self-promotion and achievement are held high.
Are you an attention-seeker? Are you shy? Are you confident, or overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy?? No matter what point we are at, this Scripture speaks to all of us. Micah 6:8 says, “..act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.” Think of the high praise the Lord gave to His esteemed servant Moses: the most humble man on earth. That, as high praise from the Almighty God would be looked at as nothing by most today.
We look around us and see different types of people: the obvious attention-seekers, the extremely shy, the moderate ones in the middle. It’s easy to compare yourself to someone really “out there” – an obvious bad example. But don’t you think we all have within us a small amount, however hidden from others, of wanting recognition for the nice things, for the good we do? It’s important to remember that it’’s the behind-the-scenes work God is most pleased and honored by. He holds it high!! What others don’t notice we’ve truly done for Him!
So then, are washing the dishes, helping the sick, keeping up with the laundry, wiping dirty faces and changing diapers, taking out the trash, chopping wood, harvesting and garden work, scraping sanding and painting, organizing, cleaning out– in short, all the humble little tasks keeping a household running requires – all part of modesty?? I think it is!! My theology may sound far-fetched or laughable here; but I sincerely believe this is something the Lord is trying to teach me. I believe the role of a woman (Prov. 31) can (and does!) include so many other things – God in His kindness has allowed us a great range of things to do for others and outlets for creativity; putting within each one different gifts with which we can serve Him. Yet those elementary things are not to be minimized. We need not be looking at them as things to be got through so we can get “on” to the “important stuff”. In Christ, we realize through new eyes that the tables have turned and we can find joy in doing these things; realizing the importance of doing them and doing them well. We read in the gospels that the least is the greatest; and to be the servant of all; it just doesn’’t always look so pretty lived out.
Yesterday, one of my sisters spent the better part of the afternoon giving our dog, Joy, a bath. She is a collie and has lots of long hair. To do a good job, and then get her fur all combed and brushed out nice, it takes hours. It is a hot, unpleasant, thankless task, one that gets little recognition outside of a few pleasant comments from some of the family. It is a job no one else wants to do. The next time someone asks, “So what have you been up to this week?”, it will doubtless go unmentioned. And if I put her name in here; she’d kill me for it!!! or die of embarrassment; which is why I didn’t specify which sister! ;-) But this is the kind of everyday thing, if done well & with her good attitude, won’t go unnoticed by God!! Why is it so hard to remember that sometimes?
Though I grew up going to church, my parents were saved a little later in life & so while I was still very young (and before we had entered the realm of churches in which modesty of dress was such a focal point contending over the different definitions), the word ‘‘modest’’ brought to my mind something quite different. Though given the right proportions both have value; I thought then more of what my grandparents spoke of as a ‘‘modest person’’ in complimentary tones. They were simply referring to someone who was uncomfortable with excessive attention or focus on themselves, someone who didn’’t desire a lot of attention, praise, or recognition for the innumerable little & big kindnesses that were part of their everyday lives. In other words, someone who wasn’t proud. Or what we see in Scripture called a humble person. Modest. Humble. In our society today, the exact opposite is held up as a praiseworthy aspiration to the very young. Everywhere we go, we are bombarded by the idea that the word importance is not only linked to, but one and the same with, fame. Or popularity. Or being well-known. It’’s easy to come away with the idea that our lives and what makes up our days means nothing at all. That none of it counts for anything. Who is held up in our society? Those who if they do work hard, at least appear to the outsider that they don’t have to; those the crowds cheer for, who stand in the spotlight singing the words of songs that sadly and too often have fairly meaningless lyrics. Those whose name is known and spoken of in households across the country, whom children imitate, the icons and “idols” of our era. These people & this kind of lifestyle is not presented to the young as an option; but more as “the” thing to aspire to. Modest behavior & humbleness seems to have lost much of its value, if it is thought of as being worth any value at all. Please understand I am not coming against those who serve God on a larger scale and are well-known because they reach and have reached many. What I am saying is making that your only goal, all you consider worthwhile to the exclusion of anything else small God has you doing right now, is a mistake. And to those who it seems have not been given much, take heart! If we’re faithful with the small things, one day we may be surprised to find they were not so small after all!
*Note from Ellen:
My family includes: myself , my parents, Will and Cindy, my sisters: one older (Sarah), two younger (Hannah and Naomi), and my brother Timothy, the youngest, who God brought from Liberia & who came to our family over a year ago now .I am blessed to still live at home with everyone, which has been in the (very tiny!) town of Cuyler, NY for the past almost-6 years.

More Readers Speak Out on Modesty

I received so many wonderful articles this time, that I had no room to fit them all in their entirety! However, I did want to dedicate one section to compiling the highlights of articles sent in by other readers. I’m sure these bits by other fellow sisters will challenge and bless you!

“… When my dad came to Mom and me and explained how he wanted us to make changes in our wardrobe, I pitched a bona-fide, world-record hissy fit!! And I was not a little girl, I was 21 years old. This proves how much the world and its pleasures had a hold on my heart. I desired so much more to please the world than to please the Lord through my parents. I am now 26, and only now am I truly starting to understand that my dad absolutely knew what he was talking about. Yes, I made the changes in my wardrobe he desired, but my heart was not right. I obeyed him outwardly, but not inwardly. I was allowing my adornment to be only outward, my attitude was not ‘precious in the sight of God’. I finally began to understand how drastically important it is for us, as Christian women, to cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit, and to dress in such a way as to help other men to “guard their eyes”. I used to think it was the men’s responsibility to guard their own eyes. But that is completely wrong! We, as Christian women, have the blessed responsibility to help our fellow brothers not to stumble. I would like to use the following analogy to help explain how vitally important it is for us, as Christian women, to do everything we possibly can to help our fellow brothers in Christ not to stumble in this area of modesty: Let’s say, hypothetically, all women love to smoke. It is a known fact that smoking causes cancer and will eventually, over time, lead to death. Most women ignore this fact and enjoy every puff of smoke they inhale. After all, doesn’t every women love to smoke? They know they have many years to enjoy their cigarettes before anything drastic happens to them. So they “enjoy it while they can”. Other women know the truth of what smoking can do and for the benefit of their families and themselves, they refrain from smoking, period. They never again purchase a cigarette and refrain from all appearances of smoking. Now let’s pretend that any man exposed to the fumes from a cigarette would instantly suffer a heart attack and die. No warnings, no time to escape, only instant death. Knowing this information, if you were a women, would you smoke in the same room as a man? What if you were in church with other men? Is it the man’s responsibility to flee the church as soon as he sees a woman start “lighting up”? Or, as a woman, would you realize that at any point in time a man could enter the room or stand next to you outside, and if you were smoking, he would instantly die. Would you take that chance? Would you even hold an unlit cigarette in your hands?

[When we dress immodestly], we are playing with fire and the men are the ones who get “burned”. Yes, men should guard their eyes from lustful things. We all should. But if we are dressing in a defrauding way, we are contributing to their sin. We cannot control what they think, but we can control what they see. We should not be a stumbling block or offend them in any way. We should pray for wisdom and discernment, to help our fellow brothers, in this area.

“And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:9-11
Submitted by: Lindsay Schultz, 26, Alabama

“I believe that very few (if any) of us try to be immodest. If we are truly trying to please the Father, then we usually do not stand in our closet, and say; “I am going to wear this because it is very tight and it makes me look very attractive.” If you do that, then I believe you need to ask the Father for a change of heart, and a desire to have a modest spirit. However, I think that in most cases, it is out of ignorance that we may dress immodestly. Or, we fall prey to the enemy’s subtle deceptions. I don’t think that we pick out an outfit to wear, choosing it because we know it is immodest, but we may pull our dress ties a little tighter than usual, or wear a blouse that is bordering on being too tight and clingy, and try to tell ourselves that is okay. If you truly seek the Father and desire a modest spirit; He will show you what you should wear. I believe the most important thing is to have a modest spirit or attitude. You can dress in modest clothing all you want, but if you are loud and obnoxious, you will not be gaining any honour. On the other hand, if you have a modest spirit or attitude, you will desire to dress modestly. And the crowning touch is good works.”
Submitted by: Hannah Washburn, 18, Tennessee

“I remember years ago being at an Amish auction. What I saw was a scene you would expect in a public high school cafeteria at lunchtime. What I saw was a group of young Amish girls in complete head to toe Amish uniforms flirting, yes I said flirting, with the young boys! Shocking! Not only were they flirting but they were behaving very immodestly. Now, why was I so shocked? Because I think the Amish are Holy? No, I think holiness is a heart-way of life not the banner we put up in our denominational sign. I have many Amish neighbors who love Jesus and I have some that don’t have a clue who He is. Our denomination doesn’t save us, no matter who we are or where we were born or who our ancestors were, we must become born-again to understand the things of God. Which brings me back to the beginning. Modesty is a heartfelt attitude not a uniform. Those precious Amish girls had been taught the “way” without the “why”. I was shocked to see girls with no skin showing being immodest. So how do we become modest? First we must understand that our flesh, our bodies, our mouths and even our minds can and will be used by the enemy if we are not submitted to God. [We must remember that it is] all about furthering His Kingdom and not causing a brother or a potential brother to stumble. It is all about picking up our cross and following Jesus daily. Putting His purposes first and ours last.

So, do we wear long sleeves or short? Do we wear all dresses or pants? How do we do this modesty thing in a way that is pleasing to Him? I have always found that the best place to start is His Word. Here is what the Lord Himself has to say,

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.” 1 Peter 3:3-5 So there we have it. It is really very simple. We should dress in a way that draws attention to the Jesus in us, not drawing attention to us. It doesn’t matter if it is pants or dresses or long sleeves or sleeveless. It matters if we can look in the mirror and honestly say Jesus is pleased. The attitude in us should show on the outside. If we dress the way we want and think if a guy looks it is his problem then we need to go back to the drawing board. Yes there are some that will look no matter what we do, but we are still accountable for our own actions. We should care; we should care about whether they know Jesus and what are we doing to point them towards Him? Who do we care more about, Jesus or ourselves?”
Submitted by: Penny Raine, wife to Jim, home-schooling mother of 8, residing in Middle TN.

“Serve and Wait”
A poem by Ashley Poff, 14, VA

“Show me Your will, O’ Lord my God,
tell me which way to go.

Make the path clear and plain for me,

wherever you lead I’ll follow.

I’m listening Lord!” The servant cried.

“Look straight ahead, My servant, My child,

observe and the way you will see.

You’ll love what I have in store for you,

just watch and wait for Me.”

Said the Lord, “Remember, for you I died.”

The servant looked and saw a way,

it did look very nice.

“Is this the way, O’ Lord my God?

surely this will suffice.

I’m listening Lord!” The servant cried.

“No, My child, do not stop,

this way is not for you.

Listen now, and keep going,

believe what I say is true.”

Said the Lord, “Remember, for you I died.”

The servant looked and saw a way,

better than that before.

“Now, Lord, this is the way,

yes, I’m nearly sure!

I’m listening Lord!” The servant cried.

“No, My child, do not stop,

this is not My will.

Only trust Me, wait a while,

be patient and be still.”

Said the Lord, “Remember, for you I died.”

The servant, now discouraged,

went impatiently on.

“Lord, please say that this is the way,

before all hope is gone!

I’m listening Lord!” The servant cried.

“My child, trust Me, hope is not lost,

do not be so distressed.

Only focus on serving Me,

and wait ‘till I send My best!”

Said the Lord, “Remember, for you I died.”

The servant traveled onward,

serving with a happy heart.

With a soothing peace that only Jesus can impart.

“I’m listening Lord!” The servant cried.

The Lord looked down upon His servant,

with love and delight.

“Here is the way, My darling child,

run to it, it’s now in sight!”

Said the Lord, “Remember, for you I died.

“Oh! My Lord! This way is so grand,

You are such a wonderful God!

This is the most glorious pathway,

upon which I ever have trod!

Thank You Lord!” The servant cried.

“I knew you’d enjoy it, My good servant,

My timing is always best.

You need only serve and wait patiently,

and I will take care of the rest.”

Said the Lord, “Remember, for you I died.”

101 Ways a Christian Maiden spends her Time . . .

This list is made up of ideas from many WFTM readers and friends. They are listed randomly below. Thanks to all you ladies that submitted your “101 ways”! I hope you enjoy this fun, practical list!

*WFTM encourages young women to always serve God in their families first, and as the Holy Spirit leads and godly earthly authority allows, to pursue other ministry opportunities that may be do-able only in this significant season of your life.

1. Read, study, memorize, and meditate on God’s Word. Then, when you are finished, do it again. You will need every one of His words hidden in your heart in the future when you are a wife and mommy, because your time will be very limited.

2. Learn to make things such as soap, candles, bread or whatever interests you. Give them away to brighten people’s day, or as gifts for special occasions. This can be an amazing ministry. If you are able to make quite a lot, you could also offer these items for sale in your community.

3. Cook a nice, hot meal and deliver it to a tired mommy of several little ones, or to an elderly person who can’t get out and about. When you don’t have time for an entire meal, take a cake or a pie!

4. Find a way to encourage other single ladies around you. Challenge them to wait upon the Lord rather than pursue dating.

5. Be a missionary. All Christians are called to share the Gospel. Your mission might be in your home if there are lost people there. It may be next door or in your community. It may be with another ministry that encourages ladies, or it may be taking the raw Gospel to a distant land. Seek the Lord. Ask Him how and where you can best share the Good News. He will make it clear.

6. Form relationships with married Proverbs 31/Titus 2 women. Soak in the words of wisdom they have to offer from experience.

7. If you don’t already have farm animals, and are feeling adventurous, try to save up and invest in a goat, a cow, or a few hens. If farm life is at all your “cup of tea,” you will enjoy reaping the rewards of fresh milk and eggs for your family. You’ll also learn basic skills that you’ll need if you happen to marry a “farmer.” If this is too extreme for you, spend some time volunteering on a farm.

8. Research the medicinal and nutritional properties of herbs, essential oils, and wild “edibles.” Keep a notebook of all you’ve learned. This will come in handy some day when you may wish to use natural remedies as a wife or mommy but have no time to do the research.

9. Make coupons for “2 hours of free childcare” and hand out to married couples who need a “date” for Christmas or for birthdays, or for any occasion. You’ll be serving the Lord and sharpening your mothering skills.

10. Keep a box with blank greeting cards or stationary in it. Whenever you are having moments where you really wish you could share a thought or special Scripture or something profound the Lord has shown you with your future husband- write it down and address it to him. Seal the envelope. It will be so much fun for the both of to you read them together one day when you are married.

11. If you haven’t already, make a list of standards for your future husband to have. This is not to be legalistic, but to set your standards and convictions in “stone” so that if you are ever tempted to compromise, you can go back to this “list”. Let God decide the physical things like hair color, height, etc., but you can write down the character traits that are Biblical and things you feel are extremely important in light of God’s Word. Convictions and doctrine should be shared by your future husband. Pray before doing this and ask God to lead you. Some young ladies like to have their parents or other godly couples in their life take a look and offer input. Once you feel peace about what you have written, choose to never change any of the standards unless it is to raise them higher. At the bottom, you can write your desires (subject to change according to God’s will).

12. Serve as a mama’s helper to a mom of many. 13. Conduct a Bible study with neighborhood children.

14. Read and study significant spiritual works that encourage and exhort your walk with God and help establish your faith.

15.Work on a home business.

16. Make and nurture friendships with godly ladies of all ages.

17. Attend prayer meetings.

18. Participate in a music ministry (choir, worship team, special numbers).

19. Lead or attend a Bible study for young single ladies to encourage and exhort one another!

20. Pray without ceasing.

21. Worship the Lord.

22. Befriend a child in need and keep up an ongoing interest.

23. Spend time in the company of godly men in an appropriate setting. (Some ladies may not know, or may need reminding of how truly godly men behave. One lady noted that she had forgotten how wonderful it could be, and how feminine it made her feel to just be in casual fellowship with true Christian men and other Christian ladies in a group setting, being treated like a “lady” and seeing the godly character in the gentlemen).

24. On her knees praying for her future husband daily.

25. Organize a benefit bake sale, dinner, or garage sale to help a family in need.

26. Reading books on marriage by strong Christian authors.

27. Praying and working to overcome faults that would keep her from being a godly wife to her future husband.

28. Falling in love with Jesus.

29. Fulfilling her calling as a single woman, whatever that may look like, not wasting a moment.

30. Serving, Serving, Serving!

31. Growing in Christ-like character

32. Faithfully waiting for her prince.

33. Praying for and nurturing special friendships with sisters and brothers in Christ.

34. In rich fellowship with a group of strong believers such as in a weekly prayer group.

35. Praying fervently and faithfully for and being a light to those God has put in her life who don’t know Jesus.

36. Encouraging those believers in her life.

37. Plant a flower garden. Make a beautiful border with rocks or stones. Choose different types and colors of flowers, both annuals and perennials. You can use them all season to give as gifts, to brighten people’s day, as well as decorate your own table or desk! Don’t forget to dry them for use in countless projects.

38. Reading a God-honoring Christian novel that makes her smile and dream. : )

39. Watching inspirational God-honoring movies.

40. Listening to Jesus music that calls her higher and takes her deeper in her walk with the Lord.

41. Loving “the least of these,” being Jesus’ hands and feet.

42. Loving and encouraging her parents.

43. Enjoying God’s glorious creation.

44. Writing a letter or email to encourage someone and let them know you love them and are there for them.

45. Spending time at Jesus’ feet, pouring out your heart, and also spending time being quiet, listening to what He has to say.

46. Make a video or film that glorifies God! Submit the finished product to an independent Christian film agency.

47. Playing! :)

48. Learning God’s ways.

49. Reading the Bible with a friend and putting what you read into practice with their encouragement.

50. Make jewelry. It can be a wonderful gift, and might also bring in a little money if you could sell it.

51. Rejoicing in who God made her to be-unique, special, one of a kind, created to do works for God’s Kingdom that no one else but she can do!

52. Learn to draw or paint.

53. Write a book.

54. Pen pal with younger girls, and be an encouraging role model for them.

55. Learn and practice skills that would be beneficial to homemaking – cooking, house cleaning, laundry, ironing, caring for children, etc.

56. Music – learn to play an instrument; if lessons are not available, try to teach yourself.

57.Quilting – it can be a very simple project, and also as elaborate as you could want.

58. Plant an herb garden. Fresh herbs are priceless in all sorts of recipes!

59. Crocheting (blankets for babies, etc.).

60. Memorizing Psalms, or making them into little tunes to hum and make them easier to remember. 61. Work on working happily, doing the hard things with a cheerful spirit. The bulk of motherhood tasks are not really naturally “fun.”

62. Work especially on your relationship with your dad. (How you respond to him will be similar to how you respond to your husband).

63. Work on sibling relationships. When friends are gone, and mom and dad grow old, your siblings will be your best friends other than your own spouse and children. Practice being best friends now.

64. Learn some accounting/book keeping skills. If you marry an entrepreneurial young man, he is sure to find this a blessing. It will also be a useful skill to teach your children or if you start up a home enterprise.

65. Study health/medicine/birthing. The first place for medical help is the family. And if you have some knowledge and understanding in this area you can help your family members with various ailments and save your family a lot of money in doctor’s bills. With an economic crisis building up, many hospitals will be forced to make decisions based on financial reasons. This may lead to a situation where hospitals will become places you may not want to go.

66. Study agriculture/gardening. A nation’s wealth comes from the ground and from what it can produce. Not surprising then that farming was the basic task given by God in Eden. And in times of economic difficulty it can be a real blessing to have a food source right in your back yard!

67. Become very familiar with and sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

68. Go to your local nursing or retirement home and minister to the residents. Sing hymns or worship choruses, play an instrument for them, or sit and read the Bible to them. Ask them if they would like you to pray for them before you leave.

69. Read with the little ones, or help older ones who have weak skills.

70. Teach an adult to read.

71. Be a Big Sister. Even if you don’t join the “official organization,” take time to invest in a younger woman, especially one that does not have good role models at home.

72. Visit shut-ins from your church.

73. Start an online Bible study.

74. Keep a gratitude journal. It keeps you from focusing on the perceived “negatives” of being single.

75. Befriend godly married couples and families.

76. Learn a new language!

77. Take (or give) piano lessons.

78. Volunteering at the church office, offering to mow the neighbors yard or tend their animals or paint their fence, volunteer to dust at the library, or help with story time.

79. Volunteer at a local park or animal shelter, etc. Get involved with your community and ask what do you need help with, with an “I am available” attitude! Service in the Name of Christ is a great witness!

80.Teaching English as a second language (the lady who submitted this one did this with refugees).

81. Taking college classes online can be helpful. Some wish to have a teaching degree for future home-schooling, just in case it becomes a legal issue. Others are interested in taking midwife or doula classes and/or training to help assist a birth at home or in case of emergencies.

82.Grocery shopping for people who have a hard time getting out. 83. Blogging (this can be a creative outlet and a means to encourage other single ladies).

84.Volunteering at food banks, homeless shelters, battered women’s shelters, etc.

85. Visiting sick people in the hospital.

86.Go on a wilderness hike.

87. Research your family tree (this can be time consuming and difficult when you have husband/children responsibilities).

88. Start an online business that you can continue after marriage.

89. Learn website development.

90. Learn to sew.

91. Sponsor a child.

92. Praying for a missionary by name.

93. Learning and experimenting with new recipes.

94. Volunteering to be a baby rocker in a hospital nursery.

95. Help with a home-school co-op.

96. Organize a “constructive party” for younger girls; sewing, baking, card decorating etc. Younger girls, especially those that don’t have older sisters, really enjoy being able to do things like this!!

97. Give a bridal shower!

98. Give a baby shower! Moms of many children often only get one or two (at most) showers from family or churches. Every baby deserves a celebration! And there is always a need, whether it is coupons for local restaurants for quick meals when baby arrives, new baby clothes, diapers, freezer meals, etc.

99. Use your creativity, motivation, energy, and any extra finances now to minister to present needs of others. Make a customized scrap book or cookbook for a friend or family member. Record your music or songs if that is your gift. Write a book of devotionals and give it as gifts, if your gift is writing. Decorate a cake. Prepare an extravagant feast for a family that has blessed you or is in need. Make homemade cards with dried flowers. Host a fancy tea party for little girls. Do not forsake the gift that is within you, spiritual or otherwise (1Timothy 4:14), but use it to the fullest in this time of freedom and service for the Lord and for His Kingdom. When you are a wife and a mommy, you will not have the time or extra energy to be as creative and give “extravagant” gifts. Homemade gifts are often the most cherished!

100. Meditate on your relationship with the Bridegroom. Write an essay on the parallels/contrasts of earthly marriage and our marriage to the Lamb.

101. Wake up early, while it is still dark, to have special quiet time with Jesus. Reserve the very first part of your day for Him, and use this time to commit your entire day to Him.

*Recipe Corner*

Cranberry Apple Crisp

This is one of my very favorite cold-weather sweet treats! The tart cranberries add a nice kick to the sweet apples. It’s a warm and comforting dessert -great with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Topping:

½- 1/4 c. soft white wheat flour

2/3 c. sucanat or brown sugar

2 t. cinnamon

½ t. nutmeg or pumpkin pie spice

7 T. butter, cut

½ (or more) c. oats

Fruit Filling:

1 ½ c. orange juice or apple cider

1 ½ c. sucanat or brown sugar

2 ½ t. cinnamon

1/4 t. nutmeg or pumpkin pie spice

12 oz. pkg. fresh cranberries (frozen will work also).

10 medium cooking apples, peeled, cored, and cut into chunks

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cook fruit filling mixture on the stove on medium heat until apples are nearly tender. You may need to sample to see if mixture is sweet enough for your taste, and add more sucanat as needed.

Mix all of the “topping” ingredients together, while fruit filling is cooking. You may have to squish these ingredients with clean hands, as it is important that the dry and wet ingredients are thoroughly mixed together to make a nice crust.

Spray a 9X13 pan with cooking spray. Pour fruit mixture in pan. Spoon the topping mixture evenly over the fruit. Bake for 45 minutes or until crust is golden and fruit filling is bubbly. Cool slightly before serving. Enjoy!

Recommended Resource:

Homestead Blessing DVD Set featuring the West ladies
This beautiful DVD set is brought to you by the precious West ladies, who I had the pleasure of meeting when I volunteered with “Above Rubies” in TN. I am blessed to call them sisters in Christ. The DVDs included in the set are: “The Art of Bread Making,” “The Art of Soap Making,” and “The Art of Candle Making.” They are practical, interesting, and entertaining. I have them and will watch them again and again. The lovely thing is, even if you already know how to do these things, they offer new tips! I’ve made bread for years, but they had recipes I had never tried. I know you will be blessed by these DVDs that encourage home-making.

*Closing Comments*

*Your submissions to WFTM are welcome! I would love to hear from you and consider your article, poem, or other writing to encourage others young ladies on their journey to godliness. Please remember to make sure that the material you submit has been proofread first. From this point on, articles will be printed “as is” with the exceptions of the spell checking tool picking up a misspelled word, or if there is not enough space to fit the entire article in that particular issue.

*Please do not use any of the material on this site except for ministry purposes. You may print the issue, as long as you do so in its entirety, giving the authors credit for their articles and poems. You may also send others to the blog to read the past issues of WFTM as a whole. You may not copy, cut, and paste any portion of the issues elsewhere on the internet without permission. Thank you for your understanding!

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